


That Way Magic Lies

by r_lee



Category: Arthurian Mythology
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r_lee/pseuds/r_lee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The magic of Avalon has a beginning and a middle, but as yet it has no end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Way Magic Lies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madam_ypsilon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madam_ypsilon/gifts).



> Legend has it that Merlin (Myrddin) fell deeply in love with Nimue, even though his gift of foresight warned him that this love would lead to his eventual demise. The stories of Nimue vary from source to source. I've shaken up the legends and tied them to the source of Avalon's magic for you. In the process, I decided to keep the Welsh names, since they're the wellspring for both characters.
> 
> The title is a play on Shakespeare, with this bit from _King Lear:_
> 
> _Your old kind father, whose frank heart gave all,—_   
> _O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;_   
> _No more of that._
> 
> Thanks to jules1278 for the beta.

============================

More things are wrought by prayer  
Than this world dreams of.  
— Tennyson, _Morte d'Arthur_

============================

**I. Nimue**  
Some say the sorcerer is to be feared. Some say that his magic is borne of the most vile kind of evil. I have no fear of magic, and I have no fear of the man (for that is all he is) called Myrddin. In my dreams, I have known him since childhood. In my dreams he walks this land with my sisters and me, but as little more than a shadow, a mist by our sides, intangible and unreal. If magic takes on many forms, I would learn to control that. I would learn to wake from this slumber.

**II. Myrddin**  
It would seem to be a terrible thing, this gift of foresight. I would be little more than a liar if I did not admit that there have been times, and many of them, when I cursed it and wished it was not a burden I had to bear. But wishes are as useless as untapped magic: we are who we are born to be, and we are intended to master the gifts with which we are saddled. This is a lesson I know too well; this is the lesson I refuse to learn. I know it is my downfall.

**III. Nimue**  
My sisters call me Nimue. Those who do not know me call me the Lady of the Lake. They fear me, yet they respect me. Those who do not live with magic live ever under its shadow, afraid of its power. Yet what is magic but another form of learning? Those who think one must be born with it toil under a grave misunderstanding. Perhaps some spark of it must needs be present at birth, but the rest of it can be gleaned from books, from scrolls, or with luck, from the proper teacher. We are all apprentices at first.

**IV. Myrddin**  
Born of magic, born to magic, born with magic: three heads of the same dragon and the history of my land is filled with those. To purge myself of the basest and cruelest of the rumors — we are all born innocent babes, but tales of the circumstances of my parentage persist — I dedicate myself to the service of the King. Some say I am also dedicated to God, and from that dedication springs my ability to see the future. Intended to balance the evil I was born with: intimate knowledge of the past and present. I find it a curse.

**V. Nimue**  
At infancy a gift was bestowed upon me. That gift is the land upon which we walk. It is a land shrouded in mist, invisible to most eyes, reachable only by agreement but never by luck. The land itself holds magic: here we never want for health or beauty or comfort. Here, food grows and the sun shines. Here, the sword Excalibur was forged and here, the gifting of that sword is my sacred duty. It has ever been this way, since I can recall. In this way I am bound to Arthur, King, as Excalibur is bound to him.

**VI. Myrddin**  
Knowing that my every action has far-reaching consequences, one would think I would behave more rationally. I tell you: despite claims of my lack of balance and character, rational behavior would lead me down the path to insanity. I have seen it. I have seen it and know I cannot go there, any more than I can change the fact that I will fall in love with a beautiful woman, one as other-worldly as I am, and that despite her beauty and the strength of our love, this will lead to my demise. It is not something I can prevent.

**VII. Nimue**  
“How will I know this Arthur?” I am a child, a girl of nine.

“You will know him when he walks with me,” Myrddin assures me. “Only the one who pulls the sword from the stone will be beside me at the lake.”

“I will watch for you.” My promise is a solemn one.

Myrddin, ever filled with mirth, laughs heartily. “It will be years, child. Years. In a dream, I will come to you so that you might know when to start your watchful vigil. Until then, play and be happy.”

I loved him then. I love him still.

**VIII. Myrddin**  
Avalon: isle in the water, isle of apples, a place of breathtaking beauty. The place that heals all wounds, where snow never falls, where food and health and merriment are abundant. The final resting place of my life’s project, the King, Arthur, the one I helped bring into this world by means neither fair nor foul, the one to whom I am dedicated for all eternity. All the things I do, self-serving though they may seem, are designed for Arthur. Even love, most enchanting of emotions, and my pursuit of Nimue, fall into this master plan. It cannot be changed.

**IX. Nimue**  
Excalibur has long since passed to Arthur. Restless, I feel it is time to claim what is mine. I am a maiden now, full-bodied and impatient. My Myrddin is not the only one who can fool human eyes with his appearance. In the guise of the daughter of another king, I make my way to Arthur’s court. The surprise in Myrddin’s eyes when he recognizes me! A perfect conspirator, he arranges for my extended stay. It is during that stay that he falls as much in love with me as I have always been with him. The knot is tied.

**X. Myrddin**  
I have been to that isle before. I have touched it with magic. Not just mine, but the magic of the ages. All who set foot on it have been so blessed. One thing this world has taught me is that magic is both curse and blessing, but when used gently it is more blessing than curse. Even Nimue, who quests for knowledge and secrets, is already imbued with more magic than she knows. Is she not the Lady of the Lake? Even if she walks the water in a trance? How could she do that without magic? My magic?

**XI. Nimue**  
To tell him I refuse to share his love until he teaches me all he knows of magic should come as a surprise, yet my Myrddin simply nods. He knows, he knows, but escorts me back to the land of my birth, to the land I love, all the while knowing and all the while loving me more and more. His desire is tangible. I, who have waited so long for his affection, need to wait yet again, until our feet touch the shores of Avalon. Only then will the circle be complete. Only then can I love him fully.

**XII. Myrddin**  
When I die, which will be at Nimue’s hands, I will pass into the service of the ages. Future study tells me that energy never vanishes but instead takes on new forms. In effect, all matter becomes something else. History will forever debate: was Myrddin evil or good? Did he act out of selfishness or selflessness? What they will remember is that I was ensorcelled, trapped in a tree, and left there to perish. What history will never tell is that the tree, the _glas tann,_ lies on the isle of Avalon. My magic, transformed, lives there still and always.

**XIII. Nimue**  
One night, I promise him, in exchange for his teachings. The more I learn, the more I understand how powerful a man Myrddin is. Yet he is already under my enchantment, helpless to escape. I weave powerful spells around him, entwining him, trapping him, and before our love can be consummated, my magic — his magic — has consumed him. Imprisoned forever more, I vow to disperse all the goodness of his magic to Avalon for all eternity and I, for all eternity, will pray by the tree entombing Myrddin. Sleep, my love. Sleep in peace. I will ever be by your side.


End file.
